today is a better day...

ok so yesterday was a pretty rough day I cried for the majority of the day. I just really really miss my dad A LOT. I mean there is nothing that really helps but crying. I got thru it with the help of my mom and my sponsor...also God was a big part of it...I was on Facebook and a friend of mine had posted something and than I scroll down a little further and another friend of mine had posted the exact same thing...word for word, these 2 ppl don't even know one another. The post was "No one can control your emotions without your permission. Who are you allowing to ruin your day?" Ya I was crying over my dad but the thing that was really bothering me was the fact that I feel so alone in the situation...I have two older sisters and an older brother (they have different moms, then I do) and we were close before my dad died and now that he is gone so are they...I mean I called my older sister on Christmas and she said she had to call me back...she did a month later...when she left me a voicemail she even said sorry but at least I called you back...i mean come on my older brother is 32, older sister is 36, and the oldest sister is 44 and they just don't seem to care and really I am sick and tired of trying to be apart of the family...the only real family I have is my younger brother and sister, my mom and my step-dad. It is sad but I am always trying to please other ppl and they just let me down and that is how it always has been...idk the more I grow closer to Jesus the more ppl drop out of my life and coincidently they are all ppl that have hurt me...so like it said in the title today is a better day because I have come to this realization and I am slowly coming to terms with it...life is hard but I can get thru it...well that is all I have for right now I guess i'll right some more tomorrow...